50 Reasons Why Russia Still Matters

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5. Troops preoccupied
Do you have any idea how many troops it would take to destroy Russia? A platoon, at the very least. Where are we going to get that platoon? Every soldier we've got is ducking bullets at some dusty intersection in Iraq. The Pentagon is paying mercenaries corporate-lawyer wages to ride shotgun on Pampers convoys to Najaf. We've got nobody to spare. Besides, the Russians just might get motivated and fight back. And if they did, an army that can't handle Iraq might not do too well on the Eastern Front.

12. The Ukrainians
What, are we supposed to just let them rule themselves? The first line in their national anthem is "Ukraine hasn't perished yet!" A nation like that is crying out to be dominated. It's for their own good. But the West can't be burdened with another charity, especially when the Russians are willing to do it for free. Let the Russians oppress the khokhli and stroke their inferiority complex. It's the humane thing to do.

Update:
38. Mongol Hordes
Unless you want the Mongol hordes sweeping westward again, you'd better pray that Russia stays alive. The Mongols may not seem very scary now, but it's historical fact that until the Russians finally drove them back, the Mongols wiped out everything in their path. If Russia vanished, the Mongol ponies would instinctively start galloping west. Next thing you know, diners at sidewalk cafes in Brussels would be keeling over with Mongol arrows in their throats. Which would not be a good thing, no matter what you say.

Comments

[piggymouse.livejournal.com]

Мне очень понравилось "34. Fradkov's charisma" без разъяснительного текста.

[109.livejournal.com]

Besides, Russia's doing more than its fair share in keeping white trash white.

[piggymouse.livejournal.com]

Да, тоже славно.