resume tips from yegge [fun, dev]
Dec. 26th, 2007 01:02 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
109...
Your little clever in-joke in your objective? DELETE. Especially that one. Resumes are not a time to be funny. Believe me, your resume is probably already funny enough without any additional effort on your part.
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Don't misspell "Curriculum Vitae". The proper spelling is r-e-s-u-m-e, unless you have a Ph.D. In the US, "curriculum vitae" is likely to be mistaken for a venereal disease.
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The all-time worst Wank Word is probably "Methodologist". It will definitely get your resume circulated around at tech companies, but not for the reasons you were hoping. Any sort of amusing synonym for "Methodologist", such as Scrum Master, generally has the same effect.
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Certification is for the weak. It's something that flags you as a technician when you really want to be an engineer. If you want to be a television repairman, you can become certified in TV repair. If you want to work for Sony and design their next big-screen TV, then you clearly don't need a busy-working-adults course on how to repair the fugging things.
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The term "expert" makes experts' eyes glow red. If you say you're an expert in something, many interviewers take it to mean you claim to have a bigger penis than they do, metaphorically speaking of course, and they're going to pull out their still highly metaphorical measuring stick during the interview and size you up. I employ this metaphor in its most gender-neutral possible interpretation, needless to say.
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"Motivated" is another resume-screening synonym for "desperate". Don't say you're motivated. It's like wearing a suit to the interview. It'll turn people off, guaranteed. [109: I gotta be some kind of exception; I came in a suit but they hired me anyway. Although, I didn't have "motivated" on my resume.]
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http://steve-yegge.blogspot.com/2007/09/ten-tips-for-slightly-less-awful-resume.html
Your little clever in-joke in your objective? DELETE. Especially that one. Resumes are not a time to be funny. Believe me, your resume is probably already funny enough without any additional effort on your part.
...
Don't misspell "Curriculum Vitae". The proper spelling is r-e-s-u-m-e, unless you have a Ph.D. In the US, "curriculum vitae" is likely to be mistaken for a venereal disease.
...
The all-time worst Wank Word is probably "Methodologist". It will definitely get your resume circulated around at tech companies, but not for the reasons you were hoping. Any sort of amusing synonym for "Methodologist", such as Scrum Master, generally has the same effect.
...
Certification is for the weak. It's something that flags you as a technician when you really want to be an engineer. If you want to be a television repairman, you can become certified in TV repair. If you want to work for Sony and design their next big-screen TV, then you clearly don't need a busy-working-adults course on how to repair the fugging things.
...
The term "expert" makes experts' eyes glow red. If you say you're an expert in something, many interviewers take it to mean you claim to have a bigger penis than they do, metaphorically speaking of course, and they're going to pull out their still highly metaphorical measuring stick during the interview and size you up. I employ this metaphor in its most gender-neutral possible interpretation, needless to say.
...
"Motivated" is another resume-screening synonym for "desperate". Don't say you're motivated. It's like wearing a suit to the interview. It'll turn people off, guaranteed. [109: I gotta be some kind of exception; I came in a suit but they hired me anyway. Although, I didn't have "motivated" on my resume.]
...
http://steve-yegge.blogspot.com/2007/09/ten-tips-for-slightly-less-awful-resume.html
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